After midnight awakeness should be glamorous or mystical…howling at the moon in an enchanted forest with a coven or dressed in vintage jewels and fur at the baccarat tables on a cruise ship. Instead, I wash a middle schooler’s gym clothes that should’ve been brought home this weekend but weren’t. After ripening in a gym locker all weekend and burnished with a new piquant from today’s P.E. Class, I wish I could take a cue from Gone With the Wind’s Mammy and dip them in a vat of boiling water to be scrubbed with lye soap. Seriously smelly stuff & the odors will only become more pronounced. As a woman, I have no firsthand experience of life as an adolescent boy, but my general impression is that it stinks.