Starting Over Yet Again

I forgot I even had a blog until I tried to follow someone else’s. I suppose I got busy, distracted, off task.. life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans. Since my last blog post, I became pregnant unexpectedly and delivered my fourth child six weeks ago. I didn’t discover the gender until birth, which irritated others to no end. It was a girl!! I really thought it was another bo,  but feel extremely happy to now have 2 boys and 2 girls. I feel relaxed and confident in parenting her,  but the physical,  emotional and spiritual tolls of raising four children are abundant. My husband is often out of town with his job, so I am navigating this ship mostly alone. The upcoming summer fills me with fearful trepidation, but the only way over it is through it…drawing on all my inner reserves to perservere.



Zippers and metal buttons from Levis are scraping the sides of the dryer as it hums and whirs. Save the sound of the dryer, it is eerily quiet. The children and animals are far off in dreamland, and my husband is still at work. It’s been quite an eventful day and the pace will continue to ramp up until January 2014. From mundane tasks like renewing my driver’s license and getting a new shower curtain to more festive tasks like baking pies, making pine cone turkeys, and visits from relatives…the holidays are here. I am to try to find the joy in  the season and not to over extend myself. The brakes are being lightly applied to school related activities and volunteering….having 3 kids in 3 different schools is a challenge. I have commitments and obligations, which makes me feel like such a grown up. Spontaneous fun comes in microbursts. Bzzzz. Dryer’s finished. Time to double check that the clothes are actually dry and then embark on an outdoor jaunt with my canine companion…or paint my toenails a particular shade of purple…or read from the pulpy novel I’ve been savoring.


What I do when I should be sleeping

After midnight awakeness should be glamorous or mystical…howling at the moon in an enchanted forest  with a coven or dressed in vintage jewels and fur at the baccarat tables on a cruise ship. Instead, I wash a middle schooler’s gym clothes that should’ve been brought home this weekend but weren’t. After ripening in a gym locker all weekend and burnished with a new piquant from today’s P.E. Class, I wish I could take a cue from Gone With the Wind’s Mammy and dip them in a vat of boiling water to be scrubbed with lye soap. Seriously smelly stuff &  the odors will only become more pronounced. As a woman, I have no firsthand experience of life as an adolescent boy, but my general impression is that it stinks.



“There are all …

“There are all kinds of love in the world but never the same love twice.”

F. Scott Fitzgerald

This is my absolute favorite quote. Every person is unique and likewise every relationship is different. The experiences shared and memories created with people can not be duplicated. It is tragic when love is lost, but I am ever hopeful of infinite possibilities to love anew.

So I was just reading that China is going to allow couples to have a second child. Here in Texas, legislators have enacted abortion restrictions. Reproductive rights should not be up for legislation. The medical term for a miscarriage is spontaneous abortion, and the dilation & curettage procedure is performed also. Women’s bodies should not be subjected to laws in Texas, China, or anyplace else. It’s just another example of patriarchal societies trying to.subjugate and oppress women. All that being said, I personally could never have an abortion and live with myself. I drove a friend home after one…gosh almost twenty years ago…and it was a dreadful experience. She was abandoned by her boyfriend and too frightened to tell her very religious mother for fear that she wouldn’t support her decision. At least she had the choice to make, though. It says “All men are created equal” in the U.S. Constitution with the glaring omission of women, because the Founding Fathers supported women’s rights about as much as current elected officials.

Good evening! I started this blog tonight on a lark after my friend Becki suggested it. This is not to say I am a highly suggestible person. If everyone was jumping off a bridge I wouldn’t jump off, too. I would instead peer over the side, sigh, shake my head, and keep going down the road. This is my inaugural blog post. Envision red, white and blue balloons and sparkly silver confetti descending from the ceiling.

Daily Prompt: Inside the Actor’s Studio

Daily Prompt: Inside the Actor’s Studio.
What is your favorite word? Verisimilitude
What is your least favorite word? Mayonnaise
What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally? Being barefoot in a grassy spot on a beautiful sunny day
What turns you off? Being in a windowless, airless room surrounded by nondescript office furniture
What is your favorite curse word? GoddamnMotherFuckingAsshole
What sound or noise do you love? Thunderstorm
What sound or noise do you hate? “Empty Fuel Tank” reminder ding in the car
What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Creative Director at a fashion magazine
What profession would you not like to do? Anything in the medical profession
If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? Welcome home!